Return to Cultural Ripple Effects Part 2: Building a culture of validation and normalization for all outlying identities

*Warning: violent & sexually graphic content in this section:

LGBT orgs, parents, and schools should be made aware of some of the things that youth are being exposed to online. The content below contains examples of material LGBT youth may encounter on a regular basis, depending on where they are communicating. These aren’t isolated incidences. We verified the user accounts of most of these examples, but not all. However, there are so many examples of this online, that sites have been set up to document it. Two can be found here and here.

An attitude of entitlement to emotional & sexual access to others based on gender identity

 
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There is profanity and graphic sexual content in this section. The point is not to:

  • be provocative for the sake of being provocative

  • state that all trans activists and allies lack respect for other people’s feelings and boundaries 

  • deny there is a lot of profane language and poor behavior online from some individuals from all groups

  • try to demonstrate support and tolerance for trans and other gender nonconforming people has to be inherently negative

  • ignore the terrible online harassment and bullying trans people get exposed to on a regular basis

However, people must view the bigger picture and understand that concepts of genderfluidity, self-identification, and denying reproductive biological realities, have actual ramifications beyond just being nice to people and supporting people in expressing themselves. 

The section above examined that gender ideology promotes the concept that trans people are “literally” male or female based on their gender identity. School systems, psychologists, social workers, psychiatrists, and LGBT organizations, who are actively promoting the worldview that your biological sex is what you feel it to be, that gender is fluid, and that it is a spectrum, have an obligation to fully comprehend how gender ideology is affecting young people, in the real world. They have an obligation to understand the conflicts it is causing, not just in the culture at large, but within the LGBT community, and even the trans community itself. And they have an obligation to analyze, if gender ideology is supporting young people in healthy ways of being in the world. Our position is that it often is not (viewpoints and mission).

These ideas are causing tensions (extreme at times) between females and biological males who identify as trans and between homosexuals and trans/genderqueer identified people. Even spending a brief amount of time online, one can find examples from thousands of different user accounts, expressing an expectation that others should make more of an effort to make themselves emotionally and sexually available to trans/genderqueer identified people, regardless of their own sexuality. This ranges from mild social justice shaming, to graphic sexually violent threats. Comments like these can get hundreds or even thousands of likes on youth social media sites like Twitter, Tumblr, and YouTube. And this youth gender identity culture does bleed into real life. It is negatively impacting people personally in the real world. 

It is often very difficult to date as a trans person. There are all kinds of issues involving who you can trust, when to disclose, fears of being fetishized, and even threat of bodily injury or even death. If a person expresses interest in a trans person and then decides they are not comfortable dating that person when they find out, that feels extremely hurtful. Dating while trans is a valid topic for discussion and trans people have a right to tell their stories and talk about their feelings of being rejected over something they can’t control. 

Trans people, and anyone one else who have difficulties dating and are feeling lonely, should be able to talk about their difficulties and pain around being turned down. This is not what is causing conflicts between trans people and people who are not trans. What is causing conflict is a social justice activism based on convincing others that they problematic for not supporting trans people’s gender identities to the point of dating and having sex with them.

There currently is very little role modeling and guidance around promoting mutual respect within the LGBT community. This is something that people who counsel “queer,” “LGBT,” and “trans/genderqueer” youth should care about and address. They may instead be fomenting some of this directly or perhaps unknowingly. LGBT youth organizations are obviously failing in preparing trans and non-binary identified youth for the reality that other people: 

  • have sexual orientations that deserve the same respect they are requesting for their gender identity

  • are entitled to not share their opinions about sex and gender

  • have as much a right to their decisions about their bodies, as trans people do about their bodies

The viewpoint that sexual orientation is problematic now (and overwhelmingly lesbian sexuality specifically-see below) is not coming from the conservative right. It is coming from the LGBT community itself and from liberal entities. Sexual orientation has been reframed as problematic for failing to be a “gender identity orientation.” Sexual orientation is problematic for not being inclusive of all genitalia, non-binary identities, or sexually inclusive of people who seek surgical body modification, to appear as the opposite-sex. Adherents of this worldview have almost religious like attachments to their personal views of sexuality and gender. They view others who do not share these attitudes as bigots, disordered, transphobic, or in need of re-education. These viewpoints are mainstream enough to be promoted by liberal organizations, liberal websites, and at gender conferences. 

These problems may seem unrelated to a school gender training program or gender fluidity promotion on LGBT org and mental health org websites. Their goals would hopefully be to endorse good boundaries and respectful discourse. But some of the examples below, are in fact, the end point where the gender ideology they promote lands, whether this is intentional or not. 

What entities promote the concept that sexual fluidity is the social ideal, and that heterosexuality and homosexuality are problematic, or even bigoted, for not being sexually inclusive of people based on their gender identities:

Liberal entities and mental health professionals promote the concept sexual orientation is problematic and bigoted.

Planned parenthood supported a workshop to “identify barriers” and “strategize ways to overcome them.” By barriers they mean lesbian sexuality, now framed as something that needs to be “overcome.” This is the largest organization promoting women’s sexual health. To them, it was more important to support a desire to break down women’s sexual orientation in the interests of a social justice cause, than to acknowledge that a discussion viewing lesbian’s underwear as an oppressive sexual barrier to trans women, is extremely inappropriate. Especially for a feminist organization where consent and boundaries are strongly encouraged in every other circumstance.

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The view that people are problematic for having sexual orientations is shared now by mental health professionals and social scientists. Affirmative model advocates are apparently reinforcing this viewpoint at gender conferences. Below are quotes from Michelle Angello (Gender Odyssey).

Is the dating pool smaller then it is for cis gender kids. Absolutely. And that might sound like bad news. But let me reframe that for you. The good news is, the shit is self-selected out.

Your kids have to be reality based enough to understand that yeah, that there are some jerks in the world. And I’m not going to get too political but recently they’ve become emboldened. You know. It used to be just so impolite that people might have those feelings but they should keep it to themselves. And now we don’t apparently have that social decorum anymore…so your kid is going to get slammed with some of that stuff…

This resistance is in reaction to a social justice activist campaign (many examples provided below) to get others to change their sexuality to support trans people’s gender identity. Straight and gay people are not coming out “emboldened” to make “impolite” statements to assert their “cis privilege” and be rude. They are doing this as a reaction to a barrage of online articles, posts on social media, as well as encounters in real life, of people criticizing them and emotionally manipulating them with loaded accusations of bigotry and transphobia. Their sexuality is not “progressive” enough to be a gender identity orientation, rather than a sexual orientation. 

This teaches LGBT youth that trans youth have rights to body choice and body autonomy. But the boy who does not wish to date a trans identified biological male, even if they appear feminine due to Lupron use and cross-sex hormones, is “shit” for his body autonomy choices. It is understandable that Angello is trying to help trans youth and parents feel better about their situation. That’s a good goal. But this is an inconsistency in gender ideology/queer theory that has become common and is resulting in demonizing other people for their identities and sexuality.

Psychologists, Karen Lyndsay Blair and Rhea Ashley Hoskin also view sexual orientation as being in need of scrutiny. They at least make a point of saying no one should be pressured to date someone they do not wish to date. But there is always a “but” that needs to be added in these types of discussions, to let people know that their feelings are still problematic and wrong. They tell people why in “Transgender exclusion from the world of dating: Patterns of acceptance and rejection of hypothetical trans dating partners as a function of sexual and gender identity.”

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“Excluding” trans people’s bodies, aka failing to engage in sex acts with people not of the biological sex one is attracted to, is framed shamingly as “cisgenderism” and “transmisogyny.” 

…willingness to excuse discriminatory preferences when it comes to trans bodies can help us to further highlight and understand how systems of beauty, race, and cisgenderism are engrained into what it means to be an autonomous individual who ‘chooses’ who they are willing to date.

There are three major problems with the line of reasoning of people, and there are many of them, who hold the views of Karen Lyndsay Blair and Rhea Ashley Hoskin. 

1) If genitals and secondary sex characteristics were irrelevant to a person’s gender, sexuality, and identity, no one would need to be trans in the first place. It is the fixation on the body that causes the need for medical transition in the trans person. Demanding that people examine their “genital preferences” is actually no different than telling a trans person to examine their own preferences, or telling trans people they should not fixate on their own body parts by surgically altering them. This is something trans people would find extremely intrusive and offensive.

2) This is a sexual orientation shaming argument, especially when applied to LGB people. There is no difference between shaming someone for “failing’ to live up to a heterosexual religious ideal and shaming someone for “failing” to live up to a gender ideology ideal. LGB people, by virtue of who they are, have already proven willing to engage in sexuality outside of social norms. 

3) Believing one is racially superior to another group or elevating arbitrary characteristic such as skin color, has nothing to with having a sexual orientation based on how males and female present, or how someone feels about people who have had cosmeticsurgery. It’s not an appropriate comparison.

conservative website observes the reality of the selective use of the “born this way argument” that applies to trans people, but should not be applied to people who feel their sexual orientation is based on attraction to biological sex, regardless of medical body modifications. 

But observe the lamentation in the video: A transgender boy wants other boys to change, to reject the “born this way” of their own sexuality for the open-mindedness of “getting physical” with a girl with a penis. Claire is desperate for their psychology to change, for their minds to open, and for their sexual identity to change in response to Claire’s allegedly unchangeable desires.

Here is an anecdotal example of a young, pro-LGBT male’s real-world experience:

I recently went out dancing in a well-known local club. Some trans women got very angry with me and called me “transphobic” and caused a scene for not wanting to dance with them. I’m not going out dancing there again. 

Sexual orientation is transphobic if it’s not gender identity orientation.

Below are more examples of this worldview. Examples ranges from politely asking someone to try to be more open minded, to abusive language, including violent threats, and rape threats. 

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Here a young woman needs to be educated to be more sexually open through embracing gender ideology. This is an example of the sense of entitlement and judgement of the wants of other people that has become common. This person demands respects for the personal decision and right to medically alter him/herself. A heterosexual woman is treated with derision and told she should be as excited about interacting with a strap on, as with a biological male’s penis. It’s also an example of how young women will feel guilty for expressing their wants, as she is trying to change herself to be a good trans ally. 

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A person who is attracted to both males and females, dictates to gay people about who they should have sex with and how they should define themselves. This is common online in LGBT environments, where sexual fluidity is considered enlightened and preferable to heterosexuality or homosexuality.

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Lesbians are by far the most common targets of transphobia and bigotry accusations for not changing their sexuality

The vast majority of the social justice activist effort to demand more sexual openness to trans people, is directed at the lesbian community. It is the main reason why lesbians have higher rates of being skeptical about trans activism, over other groups of people. Straight men, gay men, and straight women are almost never exposed to this. This affects lesbians on social media and on dating sites for lesbians, with some examples of conflict offline. 

There is an obsessive fixation and graphic discussions about male genitalia in these online arguments. The fact that 90% of this is directed at biological females, coming from biological males, is noticed by many. People feel this pattern falls in line with males generally having more of a sense of entitlement to pursue females. 

Lesbians get exposed to this on a regular basis despite the fact that the study cited above shows they are more willing to date trans people than any other group besides bisexuals…

…and despite the fact, that according to this study, MtFs prefer biological female partners themselves. MtFs are less interested in other MtFs, than the lesbians in the previous survey. The graphic measures the sexual orientation in a survey of trans adults.

Lesbians who do not want sex with males with gender dysphoria, are painted as problematic bigots, perpetrators of “hate speech,” perpetrators of violence against trans women, and worthy of contempt. One of the below comments has over 24,000 notes (likes and reblogs) demonstrating this is a common opinion, not a rare one. It’s not enough for lesbians to support civil rights for trans people and an inclusive LGBT environment. Withholding validation and sex equals oppression.

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The “vagina fetishist” accusation is common.

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A lesbian, represented as Gollum, is mocked for not believing bottom surgery creates the biological female lesbian partner that she desires. “TERF” stands for “trans exclusionary radical feminist,” but is applied to almost everyone who disagrees with any aspects of trans activism and gender ideology and usually spitefully.

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This spills over into violent sexual fantasies. 

Some people wonder why there seems to be more skepticism in the lesbian community around trans activism. This is a major reason why.

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This is what lesbian teenagers may be exposed to online.

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Lesbians only get a pass for lack of sexual attraction to penises if they have been raped. There are more examples of this argument in queer youth culture.

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This isn’t just a Tumblr position. Here is Jos Truitt, one of the most prominent MtF trans activists, making the same argument. Lesbians only get a pass for not having sexual attraction to males with GD if they’ve experienced sexual trauma.

There’s a ton of gender based trauma out there, and I understand that folks associate this with cis men, and not with trans men. But that’s not a reality-based approach to gender. A lot of that trauma gets easily linked to genitals, but this isn’t about bodies…

I just don’t think it’s OK to process your sexual trauma in a delegitimizing way through the bodies of folks who’ve often faced tons of trauma at the intersection of gender and sexuality.

 

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If lesbians try to confront this behavior the below screen cap is an example of what typically happens, rape and death threats. There is no LGBT media who will defend lesbians who try to resist this narrative.

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Trans allies, usually biological females, reinforce this culture.

A non-binary identified female tells lesbians to examine their “penis repulsion,” because of the “great sex” they are missing out on, in Queer Feminism’s “The Cotton Ceiling is Real and it’s Time for All Queer and Trans People to Fight Back.”

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More female trans allies involved in social justice activism to get lesbians to be more sexually open to males with GD:

Somebody on my college’s yik yak was literally encouraging lesbians to “try hypnosis or meditation” if we aren’t attracted to dick. I’m so upset. They’re literally being praised for it too like yes, pushing conversion therapy is sooo enlightened and progressive

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This type of activism is negatively impacting some lesbians. Some lesbian teens and young adults view this behavior as destructive, boundary violating, and disrespectful to their sexual orientation. Some do feel guilty for not desiring MtFs, which is the goal of treating them the way they are treated in queer environments.

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Another example of a woman trying to be a good trans ally:

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This Tumblr user is blocked out because she is a minor and was only sixteen years old when she wrote this:

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A similar story:

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A prominent lesbian Youtuber, Arielle Scarcella, often gets inundated with transphobia and bigotry accusations, for asserting lesbian’s right to not want sex with female identified penises. This is despite the fact she respects trans people’s gender identities and pronouns and often features trans people on her channel. She discusses this ongoing conflict in (warning graphic)  “Dear Trans Women, Stop Pushing “Girl Dick” On Lesbians.”

This post mostly refers to a rising anti-lesbian sentiment in the “queer” community and how lesbians are pressured to be bisexual.

I didn’t realise until much more recently, but what is happening is the sexism and homophobia found in mainstream society is just being re-appropriated and shoved out from the other side under the guise of radical queer politics; women who exclusively date and sleep with other women are being shamed for it by the very community they are supposed to be a part of, in a way that men who exclusively date and sleep with other men are not. Being a lesbian in a society that heaps pressure on women to be with men is and always has been an enormously radical act.

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Comments on a lesbian/bisexual website AfterEllen:

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This issue affects people in real life. An LGBT center was vandalized because a lesbian put an article complaining about the behavior documented in this section on Facebook. They also demanded she be fired.

The article, titled "Lesbianism Is Under Attack," suggested that there was a developing rift between gay women and the larger pro-LGBT movement because transgender activists are now saying that refusing to consider sex with pre-operative male-to-female transgender individuals is discrimination and bigotry, even if those individuals still have penises.

The center took down the article and issued an apology. According to one of its directors, it's "diversified the board and the staff, held two open community forums, added programming, and serve a number of youth each week with extensive youth programming," but that's simply not enough.

“[The Pride Center] isn’t theirs, it’s ours,” Muro told Campus Reform. “I feel like it’s our job to reclaim it from those mother----ers.”

The students "aired their grievances last week" in what they are calling a "positive first step," but protests will continue.

There was an actual incident where a trans woman attacked a woman who had rejected her on a Tinder date, believing it was due to her trans status. It is unknown if this was related to any online activity fomenting this anger, but the LGBT press did not report this incident. They will not report on any viewpoints or incidences that would support any reasons lesbians may want any boundaries around lesbian identity. 

Another incident assuming this comment on an AfterEllen article is actually a true story:

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This (warning graphic) story involves a lesbian porn star who was put on The Block Bot (a huge block list created by leftist atheists) and harassed for not wanting to include transwomen in her movies. The reason the story is relevant, is that it demonstrates the reality that if lesbians express sexual boundaries around MtFs, they will be socially punished and shunned in many leftist circles. Which is why this issue is much bigger and more serious than addressing a few trolls on social media.

Sexual orientation as bigotry is a mainstream liberal media position

Messages that tell homosexuals their orientations are problematic are promoted (with less offensive language) on mainstream liberal websites, by the most prominent trans activists. It’s not an obscure position. Some documentation of this can be found in this blog post, “Queer Culture is Normalizing Shaming People for Their Sexuality.”

Buzzfeed “The Transgender Dating Dilemma” 

Queer women’s circles are particularly plagued by transmisogyny. Being a “gold star lesbian” means never having had sex with a man or with a penis — that status is viewed as an achievement….When I hear that someone doesn’t want to have sex with a trans woman because of her penis — say, a lesbian who wants to maintain her gold star status or a straight man who insists he isn’t “gay” — I hear assumptions about how that sex would play out….When it comes to queer women’s culture, in particular, many lesbians misguidedly deal with trauma from the patriarchy by attacking essentialist notions of manhood. But the penis is not an essential element of manhood — it can beautifully and comfortably coexist with womanhood in one body

It’s not likely the vast majority of lesbians don’t like penis because of trauma. There is much evidence for biological causes of homosexuality. Some of it is covered here.

In the Daily Beast article “The Struggle To Find Trans Love” Julia Serano seems to chastise lesbians for their “conservatism”:

I also find it ironic that cis dykes—many of whom pride themselves on their progressive politics and subversive sexualities—tend to be far more conservative and conforming to our culture’s yuck-dating-a-trans-woman-is-gross mindset than their cis male counterparts, at least here in the San Francisco Bay Area.

A Slate article “Can Cis Lesbians and Trans Women Learn to get Along” by Parker Marie Molloy and Evan Urquhart:

For cis lesbians, it can also be difficult to tell the difference between an honest lack of attraction and feelings of fear or disgust at the idea of a partner who they perceive as “really” a man—feelings that are rooted in transphobic cultural conditioning.

So homosexuals, who have already overcome societal taboos against homosexuality, are being told they don’t understand their own lack of attractions. 

Feministing is a feminist website. Feminists are normally adamant about sexual boundaries and consent. This is not the case when it comes to sex with trans people, particularly if you are a lesbian, where any aversion to it should be broken down and analyzed. Here Jos Truitt, a leading trans activist, expresses contempt and disdain for the fact that lesbian women are more likely to date outside of their traditional orientation to include transitioned medically biological females then medically transitioned biological males. 

“I date women and trans men” is the definition of cissexism. It’s basing your frame for sexuality on the gender coercively assigned to a person by their doctor at birth, not on that person’s actual identity.

This writer is from Autostraddle, the leading online site for “queer” women. Lesbians are “wrong” for not wanting sex with biological males. They can bottom for her if she doesn’t like penises. It’s “weird” to not want sex with gender dysphoric males. 

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Gay men are “obsessed” with the idea men have penises according to this article. It’s worth asking if young heterosexual biological females or young lesbians whose sexual orientation shifts due to injecting high doses of testosterone (which happens a lot), are being psychologically prepared for the risks of what men’s sexual spaces are really like.

For guys who’d previously been exclusively attracted to women and moved in mostly lesbian circles, this can be pretty unexpected terrain. 

And a quote from this (warning) graphic article in relation to being raped by having unwanted PIV sex during a hook up, planned via an app:

Not only are they expected to bottom, Russell said that he's also expected to offer access to both his front and back holes. Russell said this has triggered extreme emotional and mental stress for him... 

I immediately disassociated and have been dealing with post-traumatic stress-related issues since. For several months after that, didn't hook up with anyone.

Liberal and LGBT media, who usually treat the growing number of lesbians and gay men becoming critical of trans activism with contempt, may want to consider why this is happening and if continuing to deny there are problems is healthy. The anger around this among gay people is becoming extreme, to the point of calling for a complete dissociation of homosexual rights activism from trans activism (see also here). 

Individuals who run LGBT youth groups and gender trainings in schools also need to understand the full ramifications of the ideology they are spreading, whether these consequences are intended or unintended. To most people, biological sex is highly relevant to them concerning their sexual orientation. When young trans people are being confronted with this reality, they are getting angry, self-righteous, and at times making violent sexual threats. In turn, many gay people are refusing to tolerate this.

Gender fraud law, fighting for the right to sexual deception

Gender fraud laws, a subset of rape by deception laws, are laws that categorizes deceiving a person about one’s biological sex, to gain sexual access to them, as sexual assault or grounds for lawsuits. Many people view being deceived about the true biological sex of someone trying to gain sexual access to you as rape. Others believe if you don’t want sex with a trans person, it is your job to ask them if they are trans, not their responsibility to tell you. Some people think these cases should be prosecuted. Others view this as morally wrong but not something the law should not get involved with, (buyer beware). The point of this is not to answer those questions but to point out further conflicts that gender ideology is creating in society. That it is not an ideology merely based on simple politeness and acceptance of trans people.

Regardless of how one thinks the law should handle these cases, there is an interesting juxtaposition in modern trans activism. There is a push to enforce huge fines for not using a person’s preferred pronouns, including 3rd gender pronouns, in places such as New York City (6 fig. fine) and Canada and there is also a push to end gender fraud laws. This makes using an offensive pronoun a significant, punishable offense in society, but violating someone’s body and lying to them to gain sexual and emotional access to them is treated as totally insignificant.

People who want gender fraud laws abolished believe the law should respect the gender identity of the accused, regardless of the distress caused to the complainant. This is another logical endpoint of gender ideology, where biological sex is literally what a person feels they are. The problem lies with the person who feels sexually violated. Alex Sharpe an MtF lawyer says this: 

Accordingly, we need to challenge the idea that sexual autonomy be viewed as an absolute right. 

Here are some examples of quotes from Alex Sharp expressing the view that trans people have aright to sex with other people, even if those people would not make that choice if they knew the trans person’s biological sex. This is from a presentation of EPATH, the European arm of WPATH.

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There have been seven incidences of gender fraud, all involving biological females in Britain, in the last several years. Several were not very credible, some were. A critique of six of these events can be found in this video, “Why Violating a Person’s Vagina is worse than Violation their Pronouns” and here in a post on the Gayle Newland case by Idge of Reason

Heterosexual women, who feel sexually violated by FtMs who catfish them, should not have the right to prosecute because the law must view the trans man’s synthetic prosthesis as a real penis of a biological male. Therefore, no unwanted sexual activity happened because the sex toy was a real penis to the trans man, even if it wasn’t to the heterosexual woman.

It is important to recognise that for some transgender men, a prosthesis is experienced as a penis. To insist on a distinction between the fleshy and the non-fleshy penis in legal constructions of consent is to misunderstand this important phenomenological issue and point of gender variance.

It’s important to note that the victims of these gender fraud situations felt traumatized by the incidences, having relations and sex with people they thought were male. One said bluntly, she would rather have been raped by a man, then deceived by a biological female. It’s not as if this behavior does not negatively affect other people.

Here are more examples of the view that not respecting pronouns/gender identity is offensive but crossing other people’s sexual boundaries and/or failing to disclose biological sex is morally acceptable.

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Stonewall UK, Britain’s largest LGBT organization, is planning on engaging in activism to eliminate gender fraud laws. So, an LGBT rights organization is now involved in removing a person’s redress for having their sexuality violated. In this way, trans rights activism is very different than activism around homosexual or bisexual rights.

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Trans people who speak out against a culture of shaming people for having sexual orientations

Although the view that having a sexual orientation that doesn’t include gender identity is transphobic is common enough to be causing major conflict within the LGBT community, not all trans people share this view. The below is criticism from an FtM on Tumblr. This trans person correctly observes this line of reasoning is losing trans people allies, particularly among gay men and lesbians, who do not appreciate that after years of sexual shaming and pressure to have sex with the opposite sex for years by right-wing conservatives are now being shamed for their sexuality by left wing trans activist and allies. 

bofa-gender 

 I argue:
- No, it’s largely not effective. 
- No, it doesn’t improve safety. 
- It does more harm to trans people than help. 
- There’s better, more effective ways to go about and making these changes. 

Stay with me. There’s a concept called “Peak trans”. It’s where someone has seen something they felt so absurd within trans activism that it made them become critical of it. It’s good to be critical of things, and I myself am critical of trans activism. However, I’ve also seen sometimes this valid skepticism and asking questions can over time morph into genuine hatred for trans people. Nearly every time someone tells their “peak trans” story, it mentions the genital preferences discussion. 

It’s clear that the way people are going about this is not only not achieving it’s goal, it’s making a lot of people uncomfortable and skeptical of trans people. This issue comes up so much and is focused on so much, I have seen tons of people who believe trans people care more about sex than their own safety. That trans people don’t care about consent. That trans people are homophobic and say the exact things homophobes do.

And you know what? I can see why. In my time on Tumblr, I’ve seen everything from a CSA survivor being told that she was gross and “wished trans women would want her” because she expressed her trauma made her incompatible with a trans woman. I’ve seen people say that lesbians aren’t “really” penis repulsed because they use dildos and it’s just they hate trans women. I’ve seen people say to just not touch her penis or just don’t have sex, which is… A recipe for a really bad relationship. I’ve seen a couple people even say they engaged in sex with a trans person when they didn’t want to because they didn’t want to be a bigot. This is the tip of the iceberg. These were established, non troll blogs. There’s plenty of blogs with pages of receipts of people saying these things. No matter how you feel about the genital preference discourse, this isn’t okay. 

So as much as people want to say that no one is saying you have to sleep with trans people, that no one is saying you can’t have genital preferences, that it’s okay to have genital preferences but don’t spout about how much you hate penises… There *are* people who are arguing that it’s not okay to have genital preferences, and that if you weren’t transphobic you’d be fine having contact with certain genitals. And it’s not helping. None of the genital preference discourse is helping us.

Blaire White, one of the most popular MtFs on YouTube, always defends people’s rights to their tastes and boundaries without being the targets of social justice activism. White defends Arielle Scarcella, who has been that target of hate brigading over stating, in the most polit way, that lesbians have a right to sexual boundaries and wants. 

For so long we fought against the right telling us we could change and that we should change. And now we are fighting against the left who say we could change and should change.

And here is another strong statement by White against this type of sexual boundary disrespecting, social justice activism


Continue to Cultural Ripple Effects Part 4: Reinforcement of gender stereotypes