Case of Teen Girl Desisting From Gender Dysphoria Highlights Conflicts and Dangers Around Pediatric Medical Transition

Letter Received

A parent sent an email to Gender Health Query about a teenage girl who met DSM diagnostic criteria for gender dysphoria. One parent and the mental health and medical professionals were all enthusiastic to medically alter this girl's body, who eventually outgrew her feelings. The story highlights conflicts that are arising between parents around their child's trans declaration, the involvement of the courts, and how early medical treatment endangers grey area children/teens/young adults.

Slightly edited (for anonymity) and posted with permission:

Subject: My daughters desistance

Message: Briefly, I would like to share that my daughter, who has recently desisted, had identified as transgender (FTM) for over 2 years, from age 13-15. During this entire period, she regularly pressured me and my ex that she needed medicalization with hormones. I very carefully resisted the pressure while showing support. My ex, however, was very supportive and showed eager willingness to allow her to medicalize. My ex also used my resistance to medicalization to try to show family court I was not supportive of my daughter's coming out as TG. My ex exploited this (along with some parent/child conflict) in an attempt to limit my parental rights and parenting time. This was a source of great conflict, for us as co-parents. Throughout her court challenge, a few mental health professionals were brought to the case to give opinions. We also hired an LGBTQ "specialist" for therapy for my daughter. All the mental health pro's recommended the affirmation approach and encouraged seeking out consultation for puberty blocking or hormone therapy. At one point, in the presence of my child, I asked the LGBTQ specialist if she, and my daughter, had discussed testosterone therapy and its side effects. She replied that, yes, they had. I asked, "Have you had the conversation about how 'T' has irreversible side-effects." The "specialist" flatly denied that this was true, to me, in front of my child. She stated that the effects of T are reversible. I know that this is not true, as I had done diligent research on TG medicalization. I was appalled that a therapist claiming to be a transgender specialist would be so uninformed. She was also unaware of what WPATH was.

Recently, My daughter has desisted and is back to identifying as her natal gender. The cessation of the two years of identification happened almost as fast as her coming out as TG two years prior. It terrifies me to think that, had I lost parenting rights/decision making during my ex's court challenge, my daughter may have been allowed to medicalize her transition. It terrifies me that there is a mental health community (who may have very little understanding/training/information) that is encouraging medicalization of children.

Through the process of transition, I reluctantly consented to a consultation at the Children's Hospital Transgender Clinic here in ****. I consented under pressure from my ex with her court case. I felt I had to show that I was supportive of my child's TG identification. Fortunately, there was a 6+ month waitlist for a consultation. I fear if we had gone to our consultation, the TG Clinic might have recommended hormone therapy. This would give my ex more professional backing (along with other mental health professionals opinions) to either pressure me to consent to medicalization or, worse, the court to limit my parental decision-making rights. Luckily my daughter desisted before her name came up on the waitlist.

When I called the Transgender clinic to remove my daughter's name from the waitlist, I asked the staff member if the TG Clinic kept data and statistics of children who were in the program, or on the waitlist, who had dropped out due to desistance. She said she was not aware of any data collection of that type. There seems to be so much disinformation on desistance rates for TG kids. I feel desistance rates are under-reported. I feel, during this era where child referrals to TG clinics have skyrocketed (particularly for teen FTM's), there needs to be reliable data collection on desistance rates to be used for additional research. Also, this data would be most useful in making clinical decisions on whether or not to medicalize certain age groups, like teenagers. I have no idea how trans gender clinics are accredited, but perhaps keeping accurate data on program desistance rates should be a condition of accreditation.

I'm appreciative of this web site and organization. I'm thankful to share. I'm curious to hear others' thoughts on desistance rates data collection.

Sincerely,

****